Pablo Neruda

I know Sonnet 17 by rote.

I hope one day soon to want to read it again, to want to feel it, to want to be it. Right now it's raw, but still so true.

I wonder at what stage of love did he write it.

I do not love you as if you were the salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way than this:

where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

Carnival rides

Some days I feel like I'm being sucked under by such a strong undercurrent that it feels like if I don't try hard, I will just let it take me under.

I'd love the tears to stop. I'd love to wake up one morning after restless sleep and know that I will get through the day. Everything has totally overwhelmed me. What was the turning point on this road to hell? And where is the turn in the road that will help me out of this melancholy my life has become?

I'm so tired of people telling me I'm strong and I will get through this. What if I don't want to get through this?

I wish I could stop dreaming. I can barely cope with my daytime thoughts, but when I dream I'm not dreaming the same hurt. I'm dreaming wonderful, lovely things. I wake and think it's all reality, and my senses kick in to action and take over and I realise that my dreams may never be reality.

Why am I having this overwhelming urge to know everything? How can something that you thought you understood, now make you feel so inept and so totally alone.

It's funny how a simple action or non action can set things hurtling along a rollercoaster out of control. How does an out of control rollercoaster stop? Do you just jump off and hope you land unscathed or do you jump off knowing full well you are going to be battered and bruised? I don't want to be battered and bruised. Is there a way to stop the rollercoaster? What would it take to stop the rollercoaster so the occupants can get off and get on something much more pleasant and peaceful, like a merry go round. Maybe the carnival has already left town. I honestly don't know anymore.

Be well, knowing I'd love to jump off the rollercoaster. If only I could see what would happen if I did jump off.

Lyrics you can't stop listening to, but don't know why

I've currently been listening to James Blunt's album Back to Bedlam. Why? I'm not sure. Why do I have this particular song on repeat? I'm not sure of that either. Why do some songs touch you, more than you thought possible? As per my previous post, 'Why' seems to be the question I can't get answers to.


Goodbye My Lover.

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

Life's answers....

I wish life came with a book that had all the answers in it.

All the answers to:

why

where

how

when

Instead of having to ask the question and get no answer, you could look the answer up in a book and hopefully those answers would ease your confusion.

My first question would definitely be 'why?'

Please, please never let cartoonists be censored.

If you can't read the cartoon properly, it's worth the effort to click on the pic and enlarge it......

If you're having a bad day....tough! Get over it.....

If you ever say, shit, why me? How come it's always me things go wrong for? When will my turn for good luck come along?

Cut and paste the following link and re-assess your whinging...............

Sophie, you're a true inspiration

http://tinyurl.com/d8tab